Chinglish Shirts – Always Be Ready

It is vital to always have a camera ready and at hand in China . Cell phone cameras are even better to have in order to obscure your photo taking . This is not to be a perv and creep around , but to capture the sheer genius of Chinglish shirts. Chinese people wear obscene shirts with twisted messages on them , totally oblivious to the meaning of the English words , all the time. You must be ready!

Alas , today , I was not ready . I cannot show you a snapshot of the girl who walked by me wearing an “Abortion Clinic Staff” t-shirt. I am shamed.

To make up for it , I will show you a picture my better prepared friend , Steve , took in Taiwan.

Freedom (sic) Renegaes
Wacko Mania
Guilty Panties

It starts out innocently enough , with a silly typo and a cool sounding “Freedom Renegaes”

Wacko Mania , nice! This girl is totally hip!

Before completely devolving into the bizarre “Guilty Panties”

WHOA!

Where were they going with this one?

Chinglish Change Bags For A BOSS

Found in Nanjing’s Presidential Palace but go to any touristy place in Shanghai and you will find things like this.

No words needed. JUST BUY!

Shanghai Chinglish Park Rules

Park Rules and Regulations of Shanghai Municipality
According to Shanghai Municipal Park Administration Rules, Park visitors should obey the following provisions:
   1. Comply with the Park’s opening and closing time. For entering money-charge Park, the visitor should buy ticket or have relevant voucher. Child under 1.2 m height and people with mental disabilities should not be allowed to enter the Park without accompanies.
   2. Observe the “Seven Don’ts” civilized norms and Citizen moral standards. Don’t piss or paste randomly, neither smear and score, nor remove or destroy the Park’s facilities or equipment. Don’t bare arms and lie down randomly, neither wash nor dry clothes, nor glean and collect scraps or beg in the Park. Don’t divert or swim in the Park’s rivers or lakes. Don’t play ball games or fly kites (except in designated areas).。
   3. Don’t befool, scare or catch birds, crickets, fishes or shrimps (except operational items), cicadas etc.. Without permission, visitor should not bring any kind of animals into the Park. Don’t destroy woods and affect flowers growth carelessly. Don’t pluck or excavate fruits, seeds, clay or drag fro water plants.
   4. Don’t bring guns, ammunition, flammables, explosives and other dangerous items into the Park. Don’t set off crackers, BBQ, encamp in the Park (except in the designated areas).
   5. The visitor’s behavior should not affect other visitors’ activities in the Park. All team activities must follow relevant management department’s regulations. Without permission, don’t make public speck, congregation, donation and other activities. Don’t practice feudalism activities, gambling and other activities expressively forbidden by laws and regulations. Without permission, don’t set up stands, hawk, practice medicine or distribute advertising and publicity materials.
   6. Without permission, all types of vehicles are not allowed to enter the Park (except the wheelchairs for the disabled). When being allowed to enter the Park, the vehicles should be driven very slowly in the Park.
Shanghai Landscape Administration Bureau
This Ordinance shall be promulgated and come into force on Feb. 10th, 2002.

This was gleamed directly from the Shanghai Binjiang Forest Park website and not a word was changed.

Remember it’s very important not to befool any animals or practice feudalism activities!

Photo of The Day – Chinglish at GongQing Park

Made the schlep out to one my favorite places in Shanghai , GongQing Forest Park , today! It’s a long journey all the way at the northern end of line 8 but well worth it. I’m too tired to give the full write-up tonight ,however , I will leave you with an entertaining picture to waste your time.

Maybe after too much time spent at the Smartweed Pavilion , they couldn’t remember how to spell “pavilion” anymore

SheShan’s Awesomely Insulting Chinglish

Due to insultingly slow internet speeds and the deplorable condition of my computer at work – you know the kind of computer where the mere art of opening more than one tab to do some research results in mind-numbing , brain crippling freezes , crashes, and blue screens of death?- , in lieu of the SheShan (Shanghai’s “Mountain”) trip , I will be presenting SheShan’s Awesomely Insulting Chinglish.

“The guardian of minor , moron, the deaf and mute, or the psychopath …” blah blah blah something to the effect of don’t light or play with fires.

DAMN SON. What started out pretty innocently with “Guardian of minor” brutally turned to “moron” before subsiding to “deaf and mute” , and then lurching full force back into the attack with “psycopath” .

Please if you have a psychopath in your care , I strongly advise into bringing them into public places. If you must bring them into public places then by all means keep them as far away from fire as possible (also pointy things and things that go boom boom are out-of-bounds).

Apparently if you happen to know a moron, be sure to keep them safe as well! HAHAHA.

Also sign makers do please take care to not indiscriminately lump together deaf, mute , children , along with morons and psychopaths.